Conquering Imposter Syndrome in Sales
With James Abraham, CEO of Sandler Israel
Imposter syndrome is sneaky.
You close deals, hit quota, maybe you are even the top performer on your team.
Yet before every big call your brain whispers
Who am I to talk to this C level
What if they realize I have no idea what I am doing
In this Startup Sales Talks episode James Abraham breaks down why that happens and how to fix it for good.
He has lived three careers
- Diamonds
- Tech sales up to VP level
- Now CEO of Sandler Israel and host of the Secrets House of Selling podcast
So he has seen the head trash from every angle founder, rep and leader.
This blog pulls out his most important ideas for startup sellers and founders who want to perform without burning out.
Where imposter syndrome in sales really starts
James explains that your brain is not built for modern sales.
It is built for survival.
As kids most of us heard three scripts on repeat
- Do not talk to strangers
- Do not ask about money
- Stop asking so many questions
Then you grow up and choose a career where your success depends on
- Talking to strangers
- Asking about money
- Asking a lot of questions
Of course your system freaks out before every cold call or pricing conversation.
All that old programming is still running underneath.
So no you are not broken.
You are simply running an outdated script.
The real question is what you choose to do about it.
The 5 weaknesses that keep salespeople stuck
James sees the same patterns in almost every team he trains.
If you want to crush imposter syndrome you must kill these five weaknesses first.
1 Need for approval
If your need to be liked is stronger than your need to be effective
you lose.
This shows up when you
- Avoid hard questions
- Soften your pricing
- Let prospects drag decisions forever because you do not want to sound pushy
Sales is not the place to get your emotional needs met.
It is the place to solve problems and go to the bank.
2 Fear of rejection
We hear the word no around one hundred eighty thousand times before age sixteen.
No wonder adults hate hearing it.
In sales that is a problem.
There are far more nos than yeses.
High performers reframe it completely
- A fast no is a win
- A slow think it over is the real enemy
James would rather get a clear no that might later turn into a yes
than a weak maybe that eats months of pipeline.
3 Professional visitors
These are the reps who are always busy always on calls
but never closing.
They love meetings
hate qualification.
They collect conversations instead of decisions.
If your calendar looks full but your closed won column is empty
this might be you.
4 Emotional composure and happy ears
You know that deal where
- There is no real pain
- No clear budget
- No decision maker involved
yet you keep it in your funnel for six months because they said
Sounds interesting send me something
That is not a pipeline.
That is a fantasy novel.
Emotional composure is the ability to look at your deals coldly and say
This is not real and I am removing it.
5 Ego in the wrong place
If ego is too high you refuse to learn.
If ego is too low you feel you cannot learn.
Both kill growth.
Top performers sit in the middle
- Confident enough to act
- Humble enough to change
When the CEO has imposter syndrome
It is not just reps.
Founders and CEOs get hit even harder.
James tells the story of a founder trying to raise ten million.
His father had never made anything close to that.
At home that number simply did not exist.
Every time he pitched investors he subconsciously sabotaged himself
because in his head he heard his father saying
Money is hard
People like us do not ask for that amount
Until he surfaced that story and made peace with it
no technique in the world could fix his fundraising.
Same story with investors acting like strict parents
- Show me your deck
- Change this this and this
- Come back in six months
If you let that dynamic define you
you stop being a leader and start behaving like a child seeking approval.
Leadership work is often this simple and this brutal
- See the script
- Decide you are done with it
- Replace it with a better one
Why process beats hopium
James draws a sharp line
Methodology is not a fancy word
It is the difference between
- Hope driven sales
and
- Process driven sales
Most startups either
- Have no clear process
- Or have ten different unofficial processes living inside reps heads
Then they bolt on a random framework and wonder why it does not stick.
The sequence should be
- Define the what your stages and required outcomes at each step
- Choose the how your selling system and conversations
- Add methodology the mindset and behaviors that keep everyone consistent
If your buyer is the one leading the dance
you do not have a process.
You have hopium.
Remember
Your buyer purchases your type of solution maybe once a year
You sell it every day
You are the expert
Act like it.
A simple daily practice to get stronger
Imposter syndrome does not disappear with one big aha moment.
You build immunity day by day.
Here is the simple routine James recommends for salespeople and founders.
1 Take care of body mind and spirit first
Before you chase dopamine from prospects
give it to yourself.
Every morning
- Move your body
run lift walk do something
- Journal
write what you are proud of what you are committed to and who you choose to be
- Take 5 quiet minutes
breathe or meditate and decide how you want to show up
If you do not put your own oxygen mask on first
you will always need approval from buyers to feel good.
2 Separate identity from role
You are not your pipeline.
You are not this quarter.
You are not that one big deal.
Sales is a role.
Leadership is a role.
You take the mask on and off.
Your worth does not move with the win rate.
Hold that line and rejection loses most of its power.
Three Be it till you make it
Forget fake it till you make it.
James prefers
Be it till you make it.
Act as the trusted advisor now
- Prepare like a pro
- Ask the hard questions
- Protect your time and your price
- Be willing to walk away
Your brain will catch up to your behavior.
Final thought
If you are in sales or leading a startup you already chose a hard path.
This game is not for the soft.
The good news
Imposter syndrome is not a life sentence.
It is a collection of old stories that you can rewrite.
Do the inner work
Build real process
And remember James’s rule
You do not need courage from morning to night
You just need to be brave for a few seconds at a time
at the right moments.
